Where is my heart? Is it with my family? Who is my family? Is it my Dad? Is it my mother? My sisters? My Grandparents? My cousins? My boyfriend?
Why must it be so hard? Why must family live on different continents? Different cities?
Where do I feel at home? I feel home with my boyfriend, my love. But I also feel home when I am back at the family picnic. Back with my family.
My life could be different if my parents hadn't split up. Would it be better? Would it be worse? Would I be a different person? Would I hate my Dad cause he was too strict when I grew up? Would I love my mother? Would I be successful at a job? Would I have dated a lot during Highschool?
Well, I'll never know. I only know how my life has turned out not how it would have.
Maybe I should put aside all those questions. Most of them were with me all my life. But maybe I should just see what I have: a lovin boyfriend who means everything to me, great friends who would go through fire for me, and a family I am not seeing often, but I love them nevertheless.
I am a lucky girl, if I look at it that way. I can't have it all even if I wish. But sometimes I do.
Why can't life be easier? Or at least feelings?
